Top 5 Reasons Why I Probably Won’t Go See X-Men Origins: Wolverine

So butch

The crappy title doesn't help much either.

The unofficial Summer Movie season starts this weekend with the release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the fourth film in the X-Men movie franchise. As a big fan of comics growing up and a big fan of comic book movies, you’d think I’d be all over this one, especially since X-Men was always my favourite comic (I even bought the first two films on blu-ray today). But the truth is, from the time this film was announced, I was never more than lukewarm to the idea. Of course, it’d didn’t help that the last film in the series was a soul-crushing, steaming pile of monkey dung. But, this one is Ratner-less (directed by Gavin Hood), and Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine was the best part of The Last Stand, plus it has Tim Riggins! But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get excited for this movie, as each new preview made it look worse. Yet, I resigned myself to the idea that I was going to see this anyway, even though I had no expectation for a good film.

But no longer! I decided that I didn’t have to subject myself to things I’m not going to like, and here’s the reasons why…
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Top 20 Comic Book Movies of All-Time

I admit, this story makes no sense.

I grew up a comic book fan, falling in and out of the habit as I got older. The times in my life where I stopped reading comics didn’t have too much to do with the comics themselves (although they probably did at times parallel a downturn in quality in the X-Men, the primary series I collected), but more to do with a lack of funds or my other entertainment options taking up my time. But then they started making movies about comics — more specifically, they started making GOOD movies about comics, and I decided to start reading comics again (albeit in much smaller doses).

So I write this list both as a fan of movies and a fan of comics. Thus, I’m also a big fan of movies based on comic books, when I’m not busy being a big critic of movies based on comics that fail to live up to the source material. This is a list I’ve been meaning to write for a few years now, and in that time, the list of candidates has only grown. Because the world of comic book adaptations has grown to encompass a nice variety of of genres and types, I felt a bigger list of 20 would lead to a more diverse and interesting collection than would a traditional list of 10. I’ll admit, I haven’t seen every comic book movie released, but I have seen every one that’s been released that I plan on seeing (meaning that if I haven’t seen a movie by now, I probably never will, because I’ve heard it sucks).

But first, I’ll clarify what I mean by “comic book movies”. For the purpose of this list, a comic book movie is any feature length film whose story and/or characters originally appeared in a comic book (and a comic book includes comics, comic strips, graphic novels, or manga). So films with comic book themes that didn’t originate in the world of comics, such as The Incredibles, Unbreakable, or Hancock, don’t qualify. Nor do sci-fish properties that originated elsewhere but have since become comic books, such as Transformers (not that it would ever make a list of mine).

The other thing I should clarify is what I mean by “top”. In this, I’m mostly judging the films by the quality of the films themselves, and less so by how strong they are as adaptations, although that will obviously come into play. The reason this isn’t simply a list on the best adaptations is twofold: one, I haven’t read all the source material for every comic book movie, and two, some movies don’t necessarily adapt one source as much as they borrow from several (that said, if I have read the source material, it would obviously affect my opinion of the film). Other than that, “top” is an amalgamation between “best” and “favourite”. And now, on to the list…
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Top 5 Worst Movies of 2006

I’m still hoping to catch a couple more movies before I’m ready to do my year end best movies list, but I figure I’ll be optimistic and do a worst movies list now (optimistic because doing so contains the hope that none of the movies I’m waiting to catch will be on this list).

First off, I have no pretensions that this is the defining list of bad 2006 movies. In fact, movies on this list have appeared on Best of 2006 lists elsewhere. The truth is, I go out of my way to avoid bad movies, so if I happen to catch one, it’s a movie that looked like it would be good. A reason for this is that I’m not a fan of genres that often produce really bad movies, be it mindless action movies, teen comedies, slasher flicks, or fantasy/sci-fi (before you write your angry responses, I’m not saying those genres suck, I’m saying that they produce some really sucky movies from people just trying to make a buck off of genre fans. They can also produce good movies).

So this is my list of movies that looked good when I went to see them, and ended up sucking. I’m not avoiding controversy here, so feel free to bring the anger if you wish (or, even better, telling me when I’m right). Also, I reviewed each of these movies, so if you want to read my review, click on the hypertext accompanying each write-up.
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Comic Book Review: The Uncanny X-Men – “The Dark Phoenix Saga” (1979-80)

Hear me X-Men! No longer am I the woman you knew! I am fire! And LIFE INCARNATE! Now and forever -- I AM PHOENIX!

The Uncanny X-Men – “The Dark Phoenix Saga” (1979-80)

Collects The Uncanny X-Men issues 129-137. Writers: Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Penciller: John Byrne, Inker: Terry Austin, Colourists: Bob Sharen and Glynis Wein, Letterist: Tom Orzechowski. Published by Marvel Comics in 1979-80.
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Movie Review: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

We all owe Joel Schumacher a bit of an apology.
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, Rebecca Romijn, James Marsden, Shawn Ashmore, Aaron Stanford, Vinnie Jones, Ben Foster, Ellen Page, Patrick Stewart

Directed by: Brett Ratner
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